Slice the deuce-zip in half... 2010!

2009 was one of the more interesting years of my adult¹ life, perhaps the most interesting. 2010 will be amazing also. My first priority is finding a dog to rescue. Most likely his name will be Dragon.

In 2009, I started working for myself from home. In the past I worked 40, 50, sometimes 60 or 70 or even 90 hours a week. A few weeks there I cracked the century mark. Not once in 2010 did I work more than, I'd say, 35 hours in a week. It was fucking glorious. The paper-chase rat-race took a back seat to personal happiness and growth and all that other blah blah blah. Worth every minute of professional sacrifice, and to be honest I'm not sure I've had to sacrifice anything professionally. Things are going amazingly well for me.

I also had three surgeries, the first surgeries I've ever had. They weren't really all that bad, but they weren't necessarily all that much fun either. The first two were mostly cakewalks. Number three was more difficult. I went under the knife less than 24 hours after I had to put Lazer² to sleep. That sucked. (The photo is me and Lazerface on Thanksgiving. I miss you, Lazer! Your face looked like five lazers all pointed in the same direction!) Honestly that was maybe the worst week of my life. But whatever. It's one week out of, I don't know, a whole lot of 'em³ that I've had so far. I'm not really great with math. I'd rather spend my time, I don't know, not doing math.

On top of all that, I moved in with three awesome girls in one awesome flat in an equally awesome part of San Francisco. If you've never been to Russian Hill, you should totally come. Just don't visit me or even say hello. I'm very busy, you know, doing math and stuff. Seriously, though, I have zero complaints about living in a fantastic part of America's Greatest⁴ City. This past year featured other awesomeness too, but that's not necessarily any of your business; however, I'm guessing you're smart enough to know who⁵ you are.

1: I'm not really an adult yet, but maybe someday soon, or hopefully never.
2: The good news is that Lazer was posthumously named Greatest Dog in the History of Dogs by the Me Association.
3: I've been alive for 1,637 weeks and 6 days. 11,465 days. Thank you, random website.
4: Baltimore takes issue with my claim, and yes, those are real park benches. Years ago Baltimore had benches that said, The City That Reads, but residents defaced many of 'em to read, The City That Breeds, in light of the fact that Bodymore, Murderland is the worldwide leader in syphilis or gonorrhea or something like that. I don't really remember. But I do remember enough about Baltimore to state confidently that it's not the greatest city in America. Whatever clueless marketing firm Baltimore hired to come up with that slogan should be fired. Seriously. The greatest city in America? That's not even halfway believable.
5: Miss International a.k.a. H.A.K.

All day I dream about Shaolin

Y'all know—or maybe you don't—how much I love Wu-Tang Clan and especially Ghostface Killah a.k.a. Pretty Toney a.k.a Tony Starks a.k.a Ghost Deini a.k.a. Ironman a.k.a. The Wallabee Kingpin a.k.a consistently the most impressive member of the Wu-Tang Clan and also IMO The Champ a.k.a. the best rapper of all-time, and all-time equals Forever, so when while walking down Market Street I spotted a pair of limited-edition Ghostface hightops, I had to cop 'em.

To be honest I probably won't wear 'em all that much because of the strap. The strap is terrible. Kinda entirely unlike Ghost.

They also had a Ghostface tee and a Ghostface track jacket. I'd admit to buying those also but I'm not really in the business of making myself look obsessed¹ unless it has to do with Lazer. I'm totally comfortable admitting that I'm obsessed with Lazer, whose face looks like five lazers all pointed in the same direction.

1: Yes, I bought the shoes and the tee and track jacket.

Point Bonita Lighthouse—Marin Headlands

Today I spent sunset on Hawk Hill in the Marin Headlands looking down on the Pacific Ocean and the Farrallon Islands, where you can find Gray whales and Blue whales and Humpback whales and lions and tigers and bears, oh my.

The photo doesn't show the Farrallon Islands, also known as the Farrollones, or so I've read, but on a decently clear day you can see 'em 27 miles away with the naked eye, but for now you'll have to settle for checking 'em out on the Internet.

Also in this photo—but basically impossible to see—is Point Bonita Lighthouse, which you may recognize from my tattoo-in-progress. The lighthouse is at the end of the jetty, square in the middle of the shine from our setting sun, son.

In case you're curious, the sun set today at 4:58 p.m. PST and I know it's true because I read it on the Internet and now you're reading it on the Internet so we've got that in common, at least: The Truth.

I don't know which hurts more: getting tattooed or reading Gravity's Rainbow

The first two photos were taken after appointment #6¹ with George Campise of Seventh Son.





The next two photos are after appointments #7² and #8³ with George.





Below I'm posted up⁴ with Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow, which honestly may be more painful than getting tattooed. I'm on page 518 out of 760 and even after all that I'm still basically clueless. No exaggeration, I understand maybe 20% of the plot. Maybe. According to the Goddess of Truth there are more than 400 characters. There is no shortage of confusion; nor is there a shortage of erections⁵ and Pavlovian conditioning.



1: I have superhuman muscular strength. Can't you tell. Anyway, during this appointment George worked on the Japanese-style clouds above the lighthouse. They are still black—even after appointments number six and seven—however, they'll most likely be purple before the tattoo is finished. It surprised me to learn that dark colors are preceded by a foundation of black. It seems like you'd go from light to dark—but no, it goes from black to purple, and the dark blues of the ocean, for another example, went from black to dark blue. So anyway. Yeah. Um. They're black now. Eventually they'll be purple. Black and purple. Kinda like anyone who messes with my superhuman muscular strength.

2: Appointment #7 featured the stylized green-and-gold lightning. These photos weren't taken until after #8 so they don't necessarily feature or focus on the lightning. The lightning is heavily visible on the backside of my arm, and one bolt goes directly across the elbow. Getting your elbow tattooed feels like "******* a ***—**** full of razors," Davy once said to me. I don't disagree. Normally I don't censor my blog. But getting a tattoo directly on your elbow feels really good, pretty fantastic actually, so I'll leave it up to your imagination as to what those three words are: seven letters, three letters, four letters—collectively inspired in part by John Updike's novel, Rabbit, Run.

3: My most recent appointment featured the outline of the bricks on the lighthouse, and also all the coloring and shading on the lighthouse. It's really starting to pop. Kinda like my superhuman muscular strength. Can't you tell.

4: I took this photo during the middle of #8. I'm guessing I've got three or maybe four appointments left. I feel like I've followed up the past five appointments with I'm guessing I've got three or maybe four appointments left. So far I've spent about 25 hours with the needles.

5: You're a bit nervous clicking on that link, aren't you. Of course you are. But you're gonna click anyway, aren't you. Of course you are.

My favorite band for today and yesterday and last week: The Yellow Dress

Two weeks ago at The Secret Alley I discovered The Yellow Dress.

The Secret Alley is an indie workshop for artists of all shapes, sizes colors and mediums. It's a remarkable and memorable space. An "original 360-degree environment" that lives up to its promise. You should totally check it out and stuff. Fortunately its location¹ is not a secret. Unfortunately there is a decent chance you don't live in San Francisco (sucks for you!) but don't^2A don't^2B don't^2C worry, my friend—we're not friends—I'm willing to share with you exactly what I discovered at The Secret Alley, and the treasure is no secret because it has already been revealed in the first sentence of this here blog post.

The Yellow Dress³




1: 180 Capp St. in the Mission District of San Francisco. Less than two blocks from the 16th St. Mission BART.

2A—2B—2C: Negative concord!

3: The Yellow Dress is not responsible for the creepy [Dan Weiss + Jennifer Hawkins] Photoshop; however, presumably the band is responsible for the Watch out! Watch out! Down with Dr. Gallup! album artwork tucked away in the upper-left corner. I bought a copy of the album at Dog Eared Books in San Francisco, where Dan (vocals/guitar) works. My favorite tracks on the album are Buffalo, The Hills Have Eyes, and 05/07/2007, which is no longer just a date but also a song title. Congratulations, May 7, you're moving on up.